因为表弟推荐,去看了《Everything Everywhere All at Once / 瞬息全宇宙》这部电影。
其中丈夫说的一段话我很喜欢:They’re only like this because they’re afraid. We all need to be kind to each other. You might think me weak. But being kind is how I fight. 他们这么凶这么残暴,只是因为心里在怕,所以拜托你善待他们。你也许会觉得我很软弱,但善良就是我战斗的方式。
还有他俩对于很多时候大众所持『genius is born, not created』态度的匪夷所思。因为,普通人只看到天才在聚光灯下最闪耀的一刻,只觉得距离好远,不是我这种凡人可以企及的,但不是我的错,人家一定是天生英才,所以『had it easy』;而反倒是同样创造美的人才能明白,要达到这一步需要从始至今多少个小时的练习,而这些『天才』仅仅要维持现有水准、甚至在现有水平上想要提高一点点要付出多少努力。
Dr. K 的建议也是,想要把 conditional love 重新给 condition 回 unconditional love 的状态,最好的方法依然是,去跟那些无条件接受自己的人在一起花时间。这样才能切身去体会与理解:affection should always have been bond-oriented, not condition-oriented. 习惯了以后,一个人的能量来源才能逐渐转回到自己身上。因为不必赢得别人的认可。因为自己觉得重要的事情才是最重要的。
并不是说陌生人的观点没可能有道理,而是陌生人的观点,完全是随机的啊:
The world might sometimes be right, but then again, on key occasions, it could be gravely and outrageously wrong. Everyone is endowed with their own capacity to judge.
It is not because the crowd is jeering that the accused is guilty, or vice versa. The chief of police, the lead reviewer of The Times, or the head of the Pritzker Architecture Prize might well be idiotic; these things happen.
Every decent and interesting person is going to accumulate a string of enemies as they make their way through life. It would be impossible for it to be otherwise, given human nature. The specific reasons will be varied and somewhat random.
We will constantly be the target of anger, but we don’t have to believe ourselves to be its true cause.
就像歌剧魅影里《think of me》那首歌开头写的一样,浪花退潮后留下的都是贝壳与珍珠,然后兜里装满快乐的回忆,继续抬头挺胸往前走,期待生命中下一个惊喜的邂逅:
Think of me, think of me fondly When we’ve said goodbye Remember me, once in a while Please promise me you’ll try When you find that once again you long To take your heart back and be free If you ever find a moment Spare a thought for me
就像之前《i feel guilty when i say no》这本书里也提到的,会对犯错在意,会对别人的看法在意,是因为一个人觉得一件事情是有绝对对错的。而既然自己不确定,那就得看看别人怎么说啊。然而每个人都只是有自己各自的『want』,有各自的出发点、利益跟立场而已,所以当清楚大家都是『欲望驱使』的时候,就对各种不同的观点也自然就放松了。