昨天爬山一天累得够呛，今天早上起来觉得啥都不想做，只想就这么葛优躺一天。后来想想躺着也没什么想做的事情，干无聊，于是翻看以前看过的一本特别喜欢的书，罗素的 the conquest of happiness。

看到其中这一段，突然觉得很有意思：

Like others who had a Puritan education, I had the habit of meditating on my sins, follies, and shortcomings. I seemed to myself — no doubt justly — a miserable specimen. Gradually I learned to be indifferent to myself and my deficiencies; I came to center my attention increasingly upon external objects: the state of the world, various branches of knowledge, individuals for whom I felt affection. External interests, it is true, bring each its own possibility of pain: the world may be plunged in war, knowledge in some direction may be hard to achieve, friends may die. But pains of these kinds do not destroy the essential quality of life, as do those that spring from disgust with self.

就像其他受清教徒式批判教育而长大的人们一样，我有个习惯，就是——我总在思考自己的罪恶、愚钝与短处。在我看来，自己不过是个可怜可恨的生物；事实也的确如此。后来，逐渐地，我的关注点离我与我自己的缺陷越来越远，离外物越来越近：世界现状、各种知识分支、我爱的人们。的确，无论是哪一种外物，总会带来它们独有的痛苦：世界也许正深陷战争，知识或许难以获取，朋友也许会死去。但是，这些外物所带来的痛楚，并不会毁灭生活的本质；可是由于自我厌恶而导致的痛苦，是会的。

有意思的是，在罗素看来，痛苦与无聊的根源大概都是自我厌恶。

所以相反的，好奇心与对生活热情的来源，大概就是对自己与世界的喜爱吧！